The 7 Keys to Controlling Your Emotions and Living Fully

Marian Rojas Estapé, renowned psychiatrist and bestselling author, has developed a set of fundamental guidelines to help us control our emotions and achieve a more fulfilling life. According to her, learning to manage our emotions is essential for achieving mental stability and inner peace. Emotions such as overwhelming joy, deep sadness, or anger can sometimes take over and cause us to react in less than ideal ways, but with the right tools, we can learn to control them and ultimately improve our quality of life.

Here are the seven essential keys Marian Rojas Estapé offers to help you effectively manage your emotions and build a more satisfying life.

1. Know Yourself

The first key the psychiatrist points out is self-awareness. It is crucial to be aware of the image we project to others, our self-image, and how we present ourselves on social media. According to Rojas Estapé, when there is a disconnect between these three versions of ourselves, emotional discomfort can arise. Therefore, she recommends being consistent in how we present ourselves both to others and to ourselves, in order to avoid internal confusion and emotional instability.

2. Practice Self-Criticism

Accepting our mistakes is essential for emotional progress. According to Estapé, everyone makes mistakes, and instead of punishing ourselves for them, we need to recognize our actions and forgive ourselves. However, it’s important to strike a balance between constructive self-criticism and excessive self-criticism, as being too harsh on ourselves can damage our self-esteem. Recognizing our mistakes, learning from them, and being kind to ourselves is key to controlling emotions and moving forward.

3. Set Realistic Goals

Another crucial key is the importance of setting achievable goals. Setting expectations too high can lead to frustration and demotivation, which pushes us further away from our objectives. Rojas Estapé invites us to dream big but act small. This means that while it’s important to have high aspirations, it’s equally important to take things step by step, enjoying the process and achieving small victories that will bring us closer to our long-term goals.

4. Develop Willpower

The ability to delay immediate gratification is an essential skill Rojas Estapé highlights for achieving long-term goals. The psychiatrist insists that willpower is a combination of order, consistency, and the creation of repeated habits that allow us to stay focused and avoid impulsivity. Cultivating this discipline is what will help us stay on the right track even when distractions or difficulties arise.

5. Train Your Focus

In the digital age, where we are constantly bombarded by stimuli, maintaining attention on a single task has become harder than ever. According to Rojas Estapé, the ability to concentrate on one thing at a time is vital for controlling our emotions and progressing toward our goals. A lack of focus scatters our energy and prevents real progress. Learning to avoid distractions and training our minds to focus on what matters is a fundamental step toward an emotionally balanced life.

6. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

Understanding our emotions and being able to express them properly is only part of the process. Rojas Estapé also emphasizes the importance of understanding and empathizing with the emotions of others. Developing this emotional intelligence not only improves our interpersonal relationships but also helps us better manage stress and resolve conflicts more effectively. This ability to emotionally connect with others is a valuable resource for our emotional stability and well-being.

7. Maintain a Positive and Optimistic Attitude

Marian Rojas Estapé’s final advice focuses on attitude. According to the psychiatrist, optimism not only improves our mood but also has a physical impact on our brain. She asserts that optimistic people—those who wake up with excitement and energy—can generate new neurons in their brains in just two or three weeks. This phenomenon of neuroplasticity shows us the power that a positive attitude can have on our mental and emotional health, and how optimism can be a key tool in facing life’s challenges.

It’s important to understand that controlling our emotions is not an easy task, but it is possible with the right tools. Knowing yourself, practicing balanced self-criticism, setting realistic goals, developing willpower, training focus, cultivating emotional intelligence, and maintaining a positive attitude are the fundamental pillars that Marian Rojas Estapé proposes for achieving a more fulfilling and emotionally stable life. By applying these seven keys in our daily lives, we will be better equipped to face emotional ups and downs and live more fully, consciously, and happily.

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